140 Days: Help Me Achieve a Dream

School starts in just over a week. One week from Monday.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous.

The last 6 months of 2010 were really hard on me. I was in and out of the hospital a lot. I was unable to maintain proper hours at the toy store where I was an assistant manager. I thought getting that marketing job was my ticket to security. (Especially after my former employer took my finally paycheck, cashed it, and then took half of my money — yes, I contacted a lawyer. I’m still trying to figure out if it was legal for her not to pay us overtime for our 50-60 hour work weeks.) But three weeks into my new job, an HVAC supplier, our main brand pulled out. We were suddenly without a product line to sell. If anyone had known that was coming, they certainly didn’t tell me. We began layoffs. I survived for three months before being let go with the remaining 12-15 employees on Christmas Eve.

No job, and thanks to those financial hiccups/medical debt, I had no savings.

I’m doing some freelancing now, and as far as I know, I’m lined up to start temping once I get back to the city. However, I have to get back to the city. And this lack of a “secure” job is what’s keeping me from knowing I’ve got the apartment I’ve applied for. Living in Indiana right now, it’s not very easy to get a job in Chicago. Employers want to know I live in the city, and landlords want to know I have a job. It’s sort of a mean cycle.

I’m nervous. Still excited, but with all this uncertainty, I’m very nervous.

Needless to say, we are all still very excited about the upcoming year.

The Chicago Portfolio School sent out an email to all of the new students recently.

It’s how I found out I was one of two graphic design students chosen this quarter. (And I’ve got to say, the other, she’s good!) … It’s also how I’ve started to connect some with my fellow classmates. That and a group of us raving and getting excited on twitter.

I am extremely excited — and have been since finding out about the program itself — and now, if it’s believable, I am more so. Four of us have been chatting on twitter, and planning on meeting up before classes start.

I’m even talking with one of these awesome gals (the other graphic designer, actually) about the possibility of rooming together. (Still figuring out the whole apartment situation; basically it’ll be an affordable 2-bedroom, or a really tiny and cheap shoebox studio.)

But anyway. Let the count down begin!

(Also, I fingers crossed because I applied to a paid internship!)

These are two of my designs from last month. The first is for the Chicago Guys — a great group of men here in the city, who asked me to help with a new logo design.
The second is a sister group, literally, that I think the women of this city need to form.

today’s another hard day.

I want nothing more than to be back in Chicago with all my friends, working where ever, and getting ready for classes…

I just want my life back.

I know these hard days will keep coming. But I’m trying to look on the bright side, and trying to stay positive.
Your support has meant a lot, and has helped me get through hard days just like today.

Thank you.

In addition to taking care of myself financially — working towards a career by receiving the training I need at the Chicago Portfolio School — I’m also working hard to take care of my health too.

I haven’t had health insurance since July 2009. I was suppose to receive benefits in December from my now former employers (the company went out of business, after nearly 60 years). However, the insurance provider claimed I had a pre-existing condition because I had gone into the hospital with extreme pain this past July.

The doctors think I have endometriosis — a disease that can only be diagnosed through surgery. However, I continually have to push this surgery back since I can’t afford it. I know: shouldn’t I be trying to raise money for my surgery, instead of my tuition?

In some ways, yes. However, I feel that with turning 27 soon, I don’t want to drag my feet much longer in starting a career. In all honesty, both need to be addressed. Surgery won’t cure my condition. It might lessen some of the physical pain that I have, but endometriosis does not have a clear-cut cure. Part of this dream to complete the design program at the Portfolio School and start a career, is so that I’ll have a good job with benefits. So I can continually take care of myself health-wise and financially. (It also helps that the hospital I’ve been going to offer a lot of assistance for uninsured patients — so I’ve been able to set up a payment plan that is manageable with them.)

I mainly share my story with endometriosis because though the disease is not uncommon, there isn’t as much awareness for it. I believe the more we know about it, the more we talk about this condition, that hopefully the less women will have to suffer. It generally takes about 10 years from the onset of symptoms before a woman is diagnosed. That’s 10 years of extreme pain. So this is why I share my story — whether it be on my personal blog or even on my fundraiser page.